At the beginning of this month, I made the journey back to Gainesville, Georgia to attend Training Camp with my new squad and family. My first training camp was amazing. So much growth and freedom was experienced in those 10 days in October (check out my blog post about that training camp, HERE). So, as I walked into training camp once more with an entirely new squad, I wondered what God would have to show me and teach me this time around. I would say that God used last training camp to teach me a lot about myself and my identity in Him, to free me from shame and sin that I had kept from others until then. This time, God revealed a lot to me about His Church, and what it means to be a part of it. And He had to break down a bit (okay… a LOT) of my pride to do so.
One of the ways in which He did this was through the fitness hike, and let. Me. Tell. You: it was brutal AND humbling AND amazing AND encouraging all at once. My squad and I were required to walk 3.3 miles in 55 minutes with our 30 lb. packs on our backs. Not only that, but the ground we were walking on had a steep incline on a gravel road. If you know me, then you may also know that I have back problems that stem from a defect in my spine which makes me more susceptible to pain and injury. So, when I saw the course we were walking on, I was nervous to say the least, even after the time I spent training for this hike.
However, before the test even started, one of my squad-sisters, Brittani, came up to me and said that she was going to walk the entire thing with me and help me get across the finish in time. I was truly thankful for that, but despite my nervousness, my pride still wanted me to be able to finish on my own. I wanted to prove that I could do this without anyone’s help and without holding others back from their own tests. But she started with me and finished with me as well. By mile 2, I felt my pride being trampled on by this test. My back began to hurt, and several of my squadmates who were close to me stopped walking and came over and prayed over my back before resuming their test. Brittani held my hand as I walked up that steep hill and one of my squad-brothers, Nathan lifted the bottom of my backpack off my back to ease the load. As we kept walking, fear and frustration started to set in. I wanted to give up, and I told Brittani several times to go on and finish her test because I didn’t want to be the reason she had to walk it again.
But her response was always the same: “I’m not giving up on you. We’re going to finish this together!”
She continued to pull me up inclines. She somehow got me to run at certain points. She encouraged me throughout the entire test, and literally pulled me across the finish line with time to spare.
Brittani was the one who walked with me throughout the entire test, but Nathan and many other of my squadmates and leaders encouraged me and helped me get through it as well. I went into this thing wanting to prove that I could do it myself, and finished it realizing that I could not have gotten through it without all of the people there to encourage me and literally pull me through the difficult parts.
I walk away from Training Camp having seen and experienced an example of what it means to be the Church. Where I was weak, I saw people step in and share their strengths with me. I heard Jesus speak not only through His word, my quiet time, or the speakers at camp, but also through the men and women and I will be serving with these next 11 months.
Earlier that morning of the test, I was filled with so much doubt and frustration. I remember praying to God and saying that I didn’t think I could do this. However, God used this test to remind me that it’s not only about me or my abilities. He is the one who strengthens and equips me. He is the one who strengthens and equips each and every member of His Church. And as my sister, Brittani reminded me during that test, He never gives up on any of us despite our failures or weaknesses. In fact, it’s in those moments of weakness that He tends to show us what He can really do in and through us. I love how Paul describes the Church as a body. There are so many moving parts, so many essential gifts and talents. If we all had the same strengths and weaknesses, what would we accomplish?
Church is not a building. Church is not a theory or dissertation. The Church is a living, breathing body, made up of people with different gifts, backgrounds, and nationalities, but united in God’s Spirit. It is such a gift that God has given us brothers and sisters to walk with, to encourage, to build up, and to strengthen one another all for the sake of His Kingdom.
I can honestly say that I learned something from each person on Z-Squad during this Training Camp. These brothers and sisters that the Lord has blessed me with are so passionate about God and his mission, and passionate about serving and loving each other as well. Will you please be in prayer for Z-Squad? Pray that we would choose one another on a daily basis. Pray that we seek to glorify God instead of ourselves. Pray for encouragement and for growth.
To my family, friends, supporters, y’all have been amazing throughout this journey as well. While you may not be physically going, your encouragement, prayers, and financial support is so appreciated. Just as my squad pulled me through that test, y’all have played a HUGE role in bringing me this far, and I say thank you for that!
