Life is full of seasons. Most recently, I spent a year out on the field, came home for a few months, got called to go back out, and in the meantime all that’s left for me to do as I prepare is… wait.
In the waiting, I have found God is most present. In the quiet, His voice is most prevalent. But there are times in the waiting, when the enemy makes himself and his voice so much clearer as well. And I find myself drifting into thoughts that belonged to my old self. You know, the one who is insecure in her every interaction with people. The one who questions her calling and her decisions. The one who chooses to turn to distractions rather than sit in God’s presence. The one who is consumed by fear rather than love.
The enemy begins to hit where it hurts. He is a liar and manipulative. He is only here to steal, to kill, and to destroy. I know this, but honestly, when I allow him to be, he also is sometimes incredibly convincing.
And once he convinces me of the lies about my own personal identity, the he begins to slander God and His identity, trying to make me believe that He’s not Who He says He is.
And once again, when I allow him too, he can be incredibly convincing, even when it comes to God.
But unlike Meghan, old or new, God never changes. His thoughts for me never change. His promises never change. And regardless of what I do, say, or even think, He is with me. Always. He is faithful, always.
And unlike the enemy, He is more than just words. He is with me, always. He has come through on every promise before, so I know He will come through again.
And where Meghan falls short, God proves that HE is enough. Where Meghan is weak, then HE is strong. Where Meghan is losing perspective, HE proves himself faithful. And when He asks Meghan to wait, it’s because He has something good in store.
Because the God that fulfilled His promise to Abraham is my God.
Because the God that led the Israelites across the Red Sea on dry land is my friend.
Because the God that made the walls of Jericho fall with a shout, is fighting my every battle.
Because the God who sent His one and only Son to die for me, is my Father.
Because the God who performs miracles still even today, is my strength.
Because the God who defeated sin and the grave, is my victory.
Because the God who is and was and is to come, is with me always.
And I will choose to believe that over fear. I choose to believe in God’s goodness, rather than to live in fear. I choose to follow God wherever He has me, rather than become paralyzed by fear. I choose to put on my new self, the one God continues to bring into completion, rather than allow fear to try and scare me away from God and His promises. And I choose to trust God, rather than fear.
I can’t see all the things God can, I don’t know all the things God does, but I do know Him. And I choose to know and love HIM, every time. Because He is faithful to do the same. Every time. And because He is worth it.
Every.
Time.
There’s a new song that came out by Bryan and Katie Torwalt called Prophesy Your Promise. I’m gonna post the song and its lyrics below because it partly inspired this blog, but I’m gonna finish with a few words from the song:
“Fear can go to hell, shame can go there too. I know Whose I am. GOD, I BELONG TO YOU.”
Mic. Drop.
Prophesy Your Promise by Bryan and Katie Torwalt
I found you in the middle of my mess
You had been there all along
Open arms and open heart, you called me in
You didn’t hesitate as all
And the lies I once believed
They crumble
With the weight of Your Truth
And the fear that gripped my heart
Is arrested
So that I can see you
When I only see in part
I will prophesy your promise
I believe you, God
‘Cause You finish what You start
I will trust You in the process
I believe you, God
You set a table in the middle of my war
You knew the outcome of it all
When what I faced looked like it would never end
You said, watch the giants fall
And the lies I once believed
They crumble
With the weight of Your truth
And the fear that gripped my heart
Is arrested
So that I can see You
When I only see in part
I will prophesy Your promise
I believe You, God
‘Cause You finish what You start
I will trust You in the process
I believe You, God
Fear can go to hell
Shame can go there too
I know Whose I am
God, I belong to You
Fear can go to hell
Shame can go there too,
I know Whose I am
God, I belong to You
I belong
